I want to go on the record as saying, "I LOVE my fair adopted country". With that said, sometimes you just have to poke a bit of fun. There are things that happen here that I will likely never understand (and I'm okay with that). Given that I will never, ever, ever understand it, I have no choice but to sit back, scratch my head, chuckle to myself and go with it.
The other day all the students went on a school picnic. There were a small handful of teachers, the vice principal, and a few administrators that were left behind. The VP ended up having us come down to the teacher's lounge for lunch this day. He treated us to an amazingly lavish lunch of noodles, kimbap, mon-du and numerous side dishes. In addition to the food, there were several bottles of beer and soju on the table. The men were sitting at one side of the table, doing shot after shot after shot of soju. The security guard, who is a nice older gentleman who gives me a military salute every day and makes it a point to wish me a good morning/afternoon, along with weather observations, ended up bringing the bottle of soju down to me and we proceeded to do a shot together. Just one of those Korean moments that is so incredible to be a part of. The entire situation tickled me to pieces...the kids go away on a picnic and those left behind get drunk. Fair trade, I'd say! I love how what I perceive to be as "normal" rules do not apply here. In the US there would be a thousand and one law-suits waiting to be fought because of this sort of thing. It is just another world here. Completely.
Actually aside from occasionally drinking hard alcohol on school grounds, every day in Korea is a law suit waiting to happen. You can scarcely walk 10 feet without seeing something that would easily be a law suit in another country.... it just amazes me. In some ways I kind of like it. That it is not a law-suit happy country, that is. In many ways I respect the way they view it: "If you're dumb enough to do something to hurt yourself--then--you probably deserved it. Get over it." In other ways there are down right dangers, like complete open construction sites, with some pretty dangerous stuff going on...with children playing under foot, people walking on the busy sidewalk next to it (and directly under it), while the construction workers have a bit of a lunch break with a few shots of soju. Maybe not the safest of environments, but I guess it works, because they sprout up new buildings here all the time. Although, I don't know what the injury/fatality rate is.
Odd, repeat conversations plague many of us Native English teachers (NET). I find myself having the same exact conversation with often times, the same exact person every day at lunch and other times it will be a different person, but the same conversation. These conversations have spread and I find myself having identical conversations outside of the school with complete strangers as well. I am not the only one who suffers these conversations, as many of us NET's, share alarmingly similar stories (so much so that there is a haiku website about these conversations), so it starts feeling like there is some sort of script being passed around amongst the Korean community--a sort of "how to mess with foreigner's" pamphlet. Here are a few examples:
Kimchi is literally served at every meal. It comes in varying degrees of spice and style. No 2 kimchi dishes are exactly the same, although they are over-all very similar. Anyway, here is the conversation that takes place with a person who I have had this same, exact conversation with twice a week for 8 months straight:
K=Them
K: Oh, you eat kimchi?
Me: Yes
K: It's too spicy for you.
Me: No, it is not too spicy.
K: Yes, it is too spicy for you.
Me: Not really. I like it.
K: You like it? But it is too spicy.
Me: Yes I like it. It is not that spicy.
K: No, it is too spicy.
Me: It is not too spicy.
K: It is too spicy for you.
Me: I like spice.
K: You eat kimchi?
Me: Yes.
Outside of the school:
K: Kimchi. It is too spicy for you.
Me: No, I like it.
K: No, it is too spicy.
Me: No it is not.
K: But, you eat it? It is too spicy.
Me: I like it. No it is not too spicy.
K: It is spicy.
Me: I like spice.
K: You like kimchi? But it is too spicy for you.
On Chopsticks (again with the SAME person)
K: (looks at me, as if it is the first time they have seen me all year long) "Ohh you can use chopsticks?"
Me: Yes, I have been using them daily.
K: Oh, you don't need a fork?
Me: No, I can use chopsticks.
K: You are good with chopsticks.
Me: Thank you.
K: You can use chopsticks??
Me: Yes, I can. I have been using them for 8 months.
K: You are good with chopsticks. Do you need a fork?
Me: Thank you. No, I don't need a fork. I can use chopsticks.
K: You can use chopsticks?
Me: Yes, I can use chopsticks.
K: Do you want a fork.
Me: No, I can use chopsticks.
K: You're good with chopsticks.
Me: Thank you
On Rice:
K: Do you eat rice in the USA?
Me: Yes.
K: Really? The USA has rice?
Me: Yes, we have rice.
K: So you eat rice in USA?
Me: Yes, I eat rice there.
K: Do you like rice?
Me: Yes I do.
K: Did you eat rice in USA?
Me: Yes I eat rice in USA.
K: Really?
Me: Yes.
K: Kimchi is spicy.
Me: Yes, but I like it.
K: It is spicy.
Me: I like spice.
K: No. It is too spicy for you.
Me: It's nice.
K: Do you eat rice in USA?
Me: Yes.
Tid Bits:
When you buy eggs here, you know they are super fresh because they have bird poo & feathers on them. I say this without sarcasm....I really like how fresh they are. I appreciate that carrots are sold covered in dirt, among numerous other veggies and that the eggs are literally from farm to my kitchen. It's kind of cool.
One of my teacher friends was told by her coteacher, "you should stop giving the kids crosswords because they don't like to use their brains". (I am guessing there is a lost in translation in there somewhere, but it is funnier this way).
The other day all the students went on a school picnic. There were a small handful of teachers, the vice principal, and a few administrators that were left behind. The VP ended up having us come down to the teacher's lounge for lunch this day. He treated us to an amazingly lavish lunch of noodles, kimbap, mon-du and numerous side dishes. In addition to the food, there were several bottles of beer and soju on the table. The men were sitting at one side of the table, doing shot after shot after shot of soju. The security guard, who is a nice older gentleman who gives me a military salute every day and makes it a point to wish me a good morning/afternoon, along with weather observations, ended up bringing the bottle of soju down to me and we proceeded to do a shot together. Just one of those Korean moments that is so incredible to be a part of. The entire situation tickled me to pieces...the kids go away on a picnic and those left behind get drunk. Fair trade, I'd say! I love how what I perceive to be as "normal" rules do not apply here. In the US there would be a thousand and one law-suits waiting to be fought because of this sort of thing. It is just another world here. Completely.
Actually aside from occasionally drinking hard alcohol on school grounds, every day in Korea is a law suit waiting to happen. You can scarcely walk 10 feet without seeing something that would easily be a law suit in another country.... it just amazes me. In some ways I kind of like it. That it is not a law-suit happy country, that is. In many ways I respect the way they view it: "If you're dumb enough to do something to hurt yourself--then--you probably deserved it. Get over it." In other ways there are down right dangers, like complete open construction sites, with some pretty dangerous stuff going on...with children playing under foot, people walking on the busy sidewalk next to it (and directly under it), while the construction workers have a bit of a lunch break with a few shots of soju. Maybe not the safest of environments, but I guess it works, because they sprout up new buildings here all the time. Although, I don't know what the injury/fatality rate is.
Odd, repeat conversations plague many of us Native English teachers (NET). I find myself having the same exact conversation with often times, the same exact person every day at lunch and other times it will be a different person, but the same conversation. These conversations have spread and I find myself having identical conversations outside of the school with complete strangers as well. I am not the only one who suffers these conversations, as many of us NET's, share alarmingly similar stories (so much so that there is a haiku website about these conversations), so it starts feeling like there is some sort of script being passed around amongst the Korean community--a sort of "how to mess with foreigner's" pamphlet. Here are a few examples:
Kimchi is literally served at every meal. It comes in varying degrees of spice and style. No 2 kimchi dishes are exactly the same, although they are over-all very similar. Anyway, here is the conversation that takes place with a person who I have had this same, exact conversation with twice a week for 8 months straight:
K=Them
K: Oh, you eat kimchi?
Me: Yes
K: It's too spicy for you.
Me: No, it is not too spicy.
K: Yes, it is too spicy for you.
Me: Not really. I like it.
K: You like it? But it is too spicy.
Me: Yes I like it. It is not that spicy.
K: No, it is too spicy.
Me: It is not too spicy.
K: It is too spicy for you.
Me: I like spice.
K: You eat kimchi?
Me: Yes.
Outside of the school:
K: Kimchi. It is too spicy for you.
Me: No, I like it.
K: No, it is too spicy.
Me: No it is not.
K: But, you eat it? It is too spicy.
Me: I like it. No it is not too spicy.
K: It is spicy.
Me: I like spice.
K: You like kimchi? But it is too spicy for you.
On Chopsticks (again with the SAME person)
K: (looks at me, as if it is the first time they have seen me all year long) "Ohh you can use chopsticks?"
Me: Yes, I have been using them daily.
K: Oh, you don't need a fork?
Me: No, I can use chopsticks.
K: You are good with chopsticks.
Me: Thank you.
K: You can use chopsticks??
Me: Yes, I can. I have been using them for 8 months.
K: You are good with chopsticks. Do you need a fork?
Me: Thank you. No, I don't need a fork. I can use chopsticks.
K: You can use chopsticks?
Me: Yes, I can use chopsticks.
K: Do you want a fork.
Me: No, I can use chopsticks.
K: You're good with chopsticks.
Me: Thank you
On Rice:
K: Do you eat rice in the USA?
Me: Yes.
K: Really? The USA has rice?
Me: Yes, we have rice.
K: So you eat rice in USA?
Me: Yes, I eat rice there.
K: Do you like rice?
Me: Yes I do.
K: Did you eat rice in USA?
Me: Yes I eat rice in USA.
K: Really?
Me: Yes.
K: Kimchi is spicy.
Me: Yes, but I like it.
K: It is spicy.
Me: I like spice.
K: No. It is too spicy for you.
Me: It's nice.
K: Do you eat rice in USA?
Me: Yes.
Tid Bits:
When you buy eggs here, you know they are super fresh because they have bird poo & feathers on them. I say this without sarcasm....I really like how fresh they are. I appreciate that carrots are sold covered in dirt, among numerous other veggies and that the eggs are literally from farm to my kitchen. It's kind of cool.
One of my teacher friends was told by her coteacher, "you should stop giving the kids crosswords because they don't like to use their brains". (I am guessing there is a lost in translation in there somewhere, but it is funnier this way).
One of my facebook friends status updates: "I miss the Halloween season. I miss seeing costumes. Well, I did see someone wearing bunny-rabbit ears, but in Korea that may or may not be a costume." It is terrible, but it is SOOOooo true. I see people wearing bunny ears and cat ears, for no apparent reason. There is a cuteness to this society that I poke fun at, but I sincerely find it rather endearing. I love that you can be a complete goof here and it's ok. It's just expected.
want to hear something funny/scary? i have conversations like that with alzheimer patients!!!
ReplyDeleteSo, you know kimchi?
ReplyDeletekimchi? um, yes. I know kimchi...do you know kimchi?
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of the time my hubby and I went to get our blood test before getting our marriage license. We had to wait for their lunch break to be over and went to the Korean resturant next door. As soon as we walked into the room a beautiful, little woman started shouting at my husband, "Oooh! You like it hot and spicy? You big man! I make it hot and spicy for you." He said, "No, thank you." She said, "Oh yes, I make it hot and spicy for you. You big man!" He ate his hot and spicy dish and drank LOTS of water. She told him she knew he liked it hot and spicy because he was a big man:) Ha! It's one of my favorite memories!
ReplyDeleteLOL!! That is sooooo funny and soooo terrible! I love it. Wow, what a great memory! Thanks for sharing it.
ReplyDeleteWas your dish spicy too? Or bland by comparison?